Warranty Delivery Insurance

By Steve Shaner

I’m back on my consumer protection rant: I recently ordered a couple of products from an un-named company. When I clicked the final button for purchase, I noticed there was a .98 cent line-item fee for “Warranty Delivery Insurance.” It was for the cost of your product being Lost in transit, damaged, or stolen products shipped to me. I couldn’t resist sending the following letter back to them…

Dear On-Line Product selling company:

Thank you for protecting my order from being lost in transit, damaged or stolen.

But maybe it’s you that should be thanking me for paying for that service. I’m curious? Which insurance company did you purchase that service from, er, ah, I mean, DID I purchase that from?
I realize that it’s only .98 cents, (no doubt a price designed by a sales manager or marketing person to be under $1.00 and have nobody think twice about it), and that you didn’t purchase that insurance service from ANY OUTSIDE, THIRD PARTY Insurance company! I mean, I didn’t purchase that service from an insurance company, but from you! That money is going straight into your pocket.
Until I receive the product it’s YOU that should be responsible for my order from being lost in transit, damaged or stolen! I don’t want my dollar, I mean .98 cents, back. I just want you to admit that this is just a ploy to add on a dollar/.98 cents to every order that you send out!

Maybe every five orders you can celebrate by buying a cup of “Venti Caramel Crunch Frappuccino with bananas, extra pumps of dark caramel sauce, extra ice, whipped cream, caramel drizzle and honey blend” from Starbucks, but you may need 10 orders to cover that one!

With kindest regards,
Your Marketing Professor,
Steve Shaner
The Consumer Curmudgeon